Menstruation as Body Horror

The inciting incident of the game is Youji suddenly having bizzare symptoms. Sudden abomdinal pain, fever, depression, massive bleeding and excreting flesh clumps from the anus, and an elevated sex drive. And big reveal for the reason of his symptoms is that he's a host for a demon which transformed his body to be a vessel to birth the next messiah. His body is preparing for birth, and so.. his bizzare symptoms are his period. I love that something so shrouded in mystery and horror turned out to be a normal bodily function. I mean the demon stuff isn't normal, but having a period is normal

Many horror stories touch on taboo subjects, it's crazy that menstruation is still so taboo that stories that contain it are so rare. So it rules that this game has menstruation be such a big part of the story. Also, despite being horrific, this depiction never felt malicious to me. I think Youji's shame about it is definitely how many people felt about their periods growing up. It felt less like a commentary on "aren't periods gross and horrific?" and more like "isn't it horrific that people have to go through this?"

I think realizing it was all just his period makes some things funny in hindsight lol. Like him leaving blood puddles everywhere. Very girl on her first period thing to do. Also that one time he laid in bed for a weekend ready to accept his fate and die but the day he stopped bleeding and he was like huh. Maybe life is worth living. LMAO. Honestly some days when I'm having a rough time with my period I think about Youji and it brings me some comfort. If he can survive demon period I can survive mine.

The Gender of it All

The "Male" hosts and the cultists all treat Youji as "female." They see his ability to reproduce as his sole purpose. He's only wanted for his body, and they feel entitled to it. He's a prize to be won, he's a womb not a person. It's the horror of being a woman.

Youji experiences this while being a man, it is so transgender to me. He has to contend with his body changing in a way that doesn't match with how he presents, and everyone refuses to see him as such.

Another unlikely example of this is Okinaga Zenya's story. Zenya is a "Male" host, but it was forced upon him by his father, and his poor compatiblility with the Inner Beings (What the demons are called) caused him to have a dysfunctioning body. He is so desperate to prove himself as a proper "Male". He goes about this in a way a person who lives in a chauvinistic society would: by conquering a female. He obsesses over Youji, and in his ending he kidnaps and rapes him. However, in the true ending Zenya gets slashed open with a knife in a fight with Youji and Tetsuo. He's found later by Kitani, cradling his entrails like its his child. Zenya wonders if he gave birth and if he was a "Female" all along, he dies at peace at that thought. In the end even Zenya was victim to harsh gender divison.

Also shout out to Kitani who, upon reading about the Inners Beings and the cult, had this to say about them:

"The terms felt degrading, somehow, almost like these people were considered subhuman. But why were they divided into Males and Females in the first place? For breeding?"

He's so real. Even in 2008 Kitani would respect your pronouns.

Shironuma Tetsuo

The Yaoi Virgin Mary

I love the fact the Virgin Mary statue looms over story. Youji sees her every time he comes to school, and she stands over all the horror that happens on school grounds. Youji's story parallels hers, he's a young man, seemingly chosen at random to bare the chosen one. They both have to have the choice between continuing to live a normal life or giving up their life to the new messiah.

— You are the long-awaited Mother. Your body is no longer human.
— You exist to bear our progeny.
— The preparations are complete.
— All that remains is for you to will it so.
— Are you prepared to renounce your humanity?

Despite it All, Love Was There

Even though I thought Tetsuo and Youji's romance didn't have much grounds, Youji sacrificing himself for him in Miracles May ending touched me. Youji's father sacrificed his life to save him, and Youji wanted to give this gift to Tetsuo.

The part I didn't expect to affect me like it did was Zenya and Kitani. Zenya seemed like a bratty child but Kitani took his pain seriously and raised him like his own. He held his hand through his ugliest moments. And it didn't go unoticed by Zenya. In the end he wanted to protect Kitani from the cult, and when Kitani came running after him anyway, Kitani cradled him in his arms in his final moments and Zenya died with a smile.

Even within the cult, Zenya's grandfather loved the Purebreed which is why it still lives to this day. In the Red Road ending, Youji adopts a sympathic view of the Inner Beings, he sees they're people who deserve to live too, and he sacrifices his life for them.

Final Thoughts

Anywaayyy. I love this game. It an absoutely bizzare concept that's played through so unapologietically. The world desperately needs more art that is unafraid of scaring it's audience. I think there's too much media now that softens itself, or points and laughs at itself at any moment of sincerity.

I close this post with a long ass quote from Urobuchi Gen, sweet pool's advisor. Because I can't find a way to cut it down lol.

"Being an entertainer means satisfying the desires of your audience. But if you're a slave to those desires, then your work is only good for its craftsmanship̶ fit only for a single night's consumption. In order to truly delight your audience, and have a lasting impact, you must draw out the urges that inform their desires. Being a creator means you must understand the psychology behind desire̶ you must BECOME desire itself.

If your work disregards the opinions of your audience completely, some people may disparage it as "masturbatory"̶ but this is crucial to staying in the marathon. When you're running around in the dark, your desires are the only thing that light the way."